Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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