My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
