i can't believe i had my finger in that
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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