There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
