you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she told me i tasted like america
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
