so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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