Just fell off a train. Bad.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Found your dick twin last night
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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