You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
