I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
