thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize