I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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