i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
