some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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