And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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