Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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