Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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