i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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