I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
