the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
This toilet bowl is my home.
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