how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
