I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
