It's like God shit irony all over that family
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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