im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
