You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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