Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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