that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
