I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
