Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
