i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
