Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Panties = found
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
