We're facebook friends in real life
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
