Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
