farters have to be the big spoon...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
