Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
