You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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