Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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