I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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