I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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