I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
