you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
