It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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