Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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