there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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