You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize