Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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