I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize