I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
