Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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