He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
