So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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