Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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