Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just want to make out with him forever
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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