I feel great
I just peed on a car
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
