I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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