I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize