i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
