Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
