Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
