i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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