Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
