just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
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