Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
