his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
