I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
