Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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