That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize