we made out on top of his cat.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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