Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
