Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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